This book is designed to motivate you out of giving up after failure. It espouses the idea that you must fail to succeed. I am not sure I can sign on to some of its overall ideas as some of the recommendations in and of themselves lend to the idea of mitigating risk to not fail in the future. It considers each misstep a failure and categorizes all failures the same. I think there are different categories of failure. A mistake is short term and you can catapult up from it, but a failure to me is catastrophic. Bankruptcy, failed business, huge investment losses…etc…I don’t buy that they are all the same. Maybe I am missing the point here, but overall it was a worthwhile read, even if I don’t necessarily fully buy into some of its ideas. Nonetheless, below is my synopsis of the book, along with its many good quotable quotes.
Chapter 1 – Realize there is one major difference between average people and achieving people.
This chapter talks about the failures leading up to the success of Mary Kay Ash, the founder of Mary Kay cosmetics.
Quotable Quotes:
We are all failures-at least, all the best of us are-JM Barrie
People are training for success when they should be training for failure. Failure is far more common than success; poverty is more prevalent than wealth’ and disappointment more normal than arrival. – J Wallace Hamilton.
“If your perception of and response to failure were changed, what would you attempt to achieve?”
“The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure.”
Do you fear failure? Misunderstand it? Are you unprepared for failure?
Chapter 2 – Learn a new definition of failure
This chapter talks about the failures leading up to the success of Mary Kay Ash, the founder of Mary Kay cosmetics.
Quotable Quotes:
The difference between greatness and mediocrity is often how and individual views a mistake. – Nelson Boswell
The average for entrepreneurs is 3.8 failures before they finally make it in business.
Errors become mistakes when we perceive them and respond to them incorrectly. Mistakes become failures when we continually respond to them incorrectly.
Many of lifes failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. – Thomas Edison
Stories:
-Tony Gwynn
-New Coke
-Chick-fil-A
Failure is Not…
-Avoidable
1. You will learn lessons
2. There are no mistakes – only lessons
3. A lesson is repeated until it is learned
4. If you don’t learn the easy lessons, they get harder.
5. You’ll know you’ve learned a lesson when your actions change.
-An Event
Success is…Knowing your purpose in life, Growing to reach your potential and Sowing seeds that benefit others.
-Objective
You are the only person who can really label what you do a failure.
-The Enemy
-Irreversible
-A Stigma
-Final
Chapter 3 – Remove the “You” from failure
This chapter talks about not taking failure personally. Don’t let it eat at you that you as a person are a failure, only that something you tried or did failed. It was a failed opportunity, they don’t all work out how you plan.
Quotable Quotes:
Failure isn’t so bad if it doesn’t attack the heart. Success is all right if it doesn’t go to the head. – Grantland Rice
Tell yourself, I’m not a failure. I failed at doing something…theres a big difference. – Erma Bombeck
When achievers fail, they see it as a momentary event, not a lifelong epidemic.
Value people. Praise Effort. Reward Performance.
Stories:
-Erma Bombeck, syndicated columnist
-Daniel “Rudy” Ruttiger – Notre Dame Football
Seven Abilities:
1. Achievers reject Rejection
2. Achievers see failure as temporary
3. Achievers see failures as isolated incidents
4. Achievers keep expectations realistic.
5. Achievers focus on strengths
6. Achievers vary approaches to achievement
7. Achievers bounce back
Look at an area of your life where you have repeatedly failed and do the following:
Examine your expectations
Find new ways to do your work
Focus on your strengths
Vow to bounce back
Chapter 4 – Take action and reduce your fear
This chapter talks about not taking failure personally. Don’t let it eat at you that you as a person are a failure, only that something you tried or did failed. It was a failed opportunity, they don’t all work out how you plan.
Quotable Quotes:
Fear makes come true that which one is afraid of. – Victor Frankl
The first important step in weathering failure is learning not to personalize it.
Your more likely to act yourself into feeling that feel yourself into action.
Stories:
-Dr Samuel P Langley…precursor to the Wright bros…failure and gave up just before the wright bros had flight.
-George Fredrick Handel – Composer – what he thought was the end of his career in music brought out his best work in Messiah
Fear Cycle:
-Fear>>Inaction>>Inexperience>>Inability>>Fear…
Takes on many forms including
-Paralysis
-Procrastination
-Purposelessness
Additional negative side effects
-Self pity
-Excuses
-Misused Energy
-Hopelessness
Take action and reduce your fear. Write down what keeps you from moving forward and act.
Chapter 5 – Change your response to failure by accepting your responsibility
This chapter talks about taking responsibility to your failure and reacting in a positive way towards it.
Quotable Quotes:
If you always do what you’ve always done, then you will always get done what you’ve always gotten done.
Try, then stop and think. Then Try again. – William Dean Singleton
Ninety percent of all those who fail are not actually defeated. They simply quit. – Paul J Meyer.
It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of our responsibilities.
Stories:
-The hungry monkeys trained to fail and teach each other to fail.
The cycle begins with a Mess Up then the responses:
-Blow up
-Cover up
-Speed up
-Back up
-Give up
MISTAKES
Messages that give us feedback about life
Interruptions that should cause us to the right path
Tests that push us toward greater maturity
Awakenings that keep us in the game mentally
Keys that we can use to unlock the next door of opportunity
Explorations that let us journty where we’ve never been before
Statements about our development and progress
Responsibility is the most important ability.
Chapter 6 – Don’t the failure from outside get inside you
This chapter talks about keeping a positive attitude and state of mind.
Quotable Quotes:
Life is not simply holding a good hand. Life is playing a poor hand well. – Danish Saying
A man is not defeated by his opponents but by himself. – Jan Christiaan Smuts
A problem is something that can be solved. A fact of life is something must be accepted.
Stories:
-Greg Horn – Payless Food Center – flooded with no insurance
-Roger Crawford – born without full arms and legs taught to believe he could achieve anything and made it happen.
Contentment is important:
-Contentment is not Containing your emotions
-Contentment is not maintaining your current situation
-Contentment is not attaining power, position, or possessions
Chapter 7 – Say good-bye to yesterday
This chapter talks about leaving the past behind and breakthrough ahead.
Quotable Quotes:
One reason God created time was so that there would be a place to bury the failures of the past. – James Long
In more than thirty years of working with people, I have yet to meet a successful person who continually dwelled on his past difficulties.
Stories:
-Arnie Palmer changes golf, similar to Tiger.
-Chippie the parakeet –doesn’t sing much anymore
-Sister Francis Cabrini – wanted to be a missionary in China, but made the best of every situation she was in even though she didn’t succeed here goal.
Have you gotten over it?
-Do you compare to a past failure
-Rationalize it
-Isolate yourself
-Regret
-Bitterness
Chapter 8 – Change yourself and your world changes
This chapter talks about discovering your flaws and strengths and understanding who you are and how you can change to reach your goals.
Quotable Quotes:
Failure is the greatest opportunity I have to know who I really am. – John Killinger
We can change our whole life and the attitude of people around us simply by changing ourselves. – Rudolf Dreikurs
All of the significant battles are waged within the self. – Sheldon Kopp
To excel do what you do well.
Stories:
-John James Audubon – National Audubon Society – Failures lead to success. His biggest problem was himself.
-Linda at Injoy realized her own failure and was able to redeem herself working with John Maxwell in the end.
Reach your potential:
-See yourself clearly
-Admit your flaws honestly
-Discover your strengths joyfully
-Build on those strengths passionately
Not realizing what you want is a problem of knowledge
Not pursuing what you want is a problem of motivation
Not achieving what you want is a problem of persistence
Chapter 9 – Get over yourself and start giving yourself
This chapter talks about giving support to others. Don’t get stuck striving only for yourself.
Quotable Quotes:
Don’t get stuck inside your own ego, because it will become a prison in no time flat. – Barbara Ward
Many people who struggle with chronic failure do so because they think of no one but themselves.
Generous people are rarely mentally ill people. – Karl Menninger
When you know peoples values, you can add value to them.
Stories:
-David Robinson. He gave up the spotlight to Tim Duncan so that the team could achieve the bigger goal.
Chapter points:
-Stop taking yourself too seriously.
-Start putting the team first.
-Start adding value to others continually.
-Influence the influencers
Chapter 10 – Find the benefit in every bad experience
This chapter talks about benefiting from failures. Learn from them and use it to carry on with the goal.
Quotable Quotes:
A failure is a man who blundered, but is not able to cash in on the experience. – Elbert Hubbard
Stories:
-Ceramics class with 2 sides, one side graded for quantity, the other for quality. The quantity side creates the best quality, because they were unhindered by the prospect of failure.
Adversity motivates
Chapter 11 – If at first you do succeed, try something harder
This chapter talks about seeking a greater goal.
Quotable Quotes:
While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior. – Henry C Link
Risk must be evaluated not by the fear it generates in you or the probability of your success, but by the value of the goal.
Stories:
-Amelia Earhart. She crashed many times, but kept trying and made a big name for herself in her accomplished goals. She died trying.
-Joseph Lister – revolutionized sugery with the advent of antiseptics and clean operating rooms.
Traps that make you back away from risk:
-Embarrassment
-Rationalization
-Unrealistic expectations
-Fairness
-Timing
-Inspiration(are you taking action quickly when you get it?)
Chapter 12 – Learn from a bad experience and make it a good one
This chapter talks about making bad experiences building blocks to greater things.
Quotable Quotes:
The things which hurt, instruct. – Benjamin Franklin
Your attitude toward failure determines your altitude after failure.
Adversity is the first path to truth. – Lord Byron
Don’t let your learning lead to knowledge; let your learning lead to action. – Jim Rohn
Stories:
-Beck Weathers – Left for dead on Mount Everest. Lives to tell the story now with no fingers or legs. He has made the best of the situation and tells everyone about its inspiration to him.
Chapter 13 – Work on the weakness that weakens you
This chapter talks about how to get yourself out of the way so that you can make and impact beyond your failures and weaknesses.
Quotable Quotes:
Lord deliver me from the man who never makes a mistake, and also from the man who makes the same mistake twice. – Dr William Mayo
Ours is a world where people don’t know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it. – Don Marques
Ten ways people get in their own way:
1. Poor people skills
2. Negative attitude
3. A bad fit
4. Lack of focus
5. Weak commitment
6. An Unwillingness to change
7. A Shortcut mind-set
8. Relying on talent alone
9. Response to poor information
10. No Goals
Chapter 14 – Understand there is not much difference between failure and success
This chapter talks about pressing forward, showing that there is a small difference between failure and success.
Quotable Quotes:
There is no failure except no longer trying. – Ken Hubbard
Always bear in mind that your resolution to succeed is more important than any other thing. – Abraham Lincoln
Stories:
-R.H. Macy – fails to build a successful store until after he has many failures.
-Orville Redenbacher – he spent years tirelessly working to develop the perfect popcorn hybrid.
Purpose – Find one
Excuses – Eliminate them
Incentives – Develop some
Determination – cultivate it
Chapter 15 – Get up, get over it, get going
This chapter talks about taking action.
Quotable Quotes:
Experience is not what happens to you. Experience is what you do with what happens to you. – Aldous Huxley
By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail. – Benjamin Franklin
Stories:
-Milton Bradley – works hard and pushed the US to adopt the Kindergarten idea of the Europeans
-Singapore, the little country that could. It did and now is revered by many nations.
The goal shapes the plan.
The plan shapes the action.
The action achieves the results.
The results bring success.
Finalize your goal.
Order your plan.
Risk failing by taking action.
Welcome mistakes.
Advance based on your character.
Reevaluate your progress continually.
Develop new strategies to succeed.
Chapter 16 – Now your ready
Stories:
-Famous Dave Anderson – Many ups and downs.
Will you read this book again? Probably not. I recommend only for the perseverance aspect. Not from the idea that failure is a requirement to success, as I disagree with this notion.
Would you suggest this book be added to a personal library or leave at the public library? Public Library
Reviewed By Mike W - Twin Cities, MN
The Time Trap - The Classic Book on Time Management
